A day in the life of my body.

06:00 Awake? But we don’t leave to go to work for another 2 hours yet. Hush brain. I will lie still and wait for Chris Moyles.

06:50 Ah, Chris Moyles. Another hour in bed before breakfast. No? What? Get up, brain. I will do no such… Oh, alright then. Must be some sort of special day or emergency or something.

07:00 Clothing action done. Tooth cleaning action done. Orange juice drinking action. Packing a bag action. Packing another bag action.

07:10 What is this? We are leaving the house. Must be a really special day. Maybe I will get to do the eating cake action. Which, admittedly is slightly harder after a few of the drinking glasses of wine actions. Maybe I’ll get to do that too.

07:30 Oh my God. Swimming. Not an action for this time of day surely unless this is an emergency situation. It must be… SWIMMING ACTION.

08:15 Ah, now to lie in nice, safe hot water jacuzzi. Let’s try and trick brain into thinking it’s time for sleep.

08:45 Nope, driving again. Probably just another boring day at work. Stomach’s looking forward to eating actions.

09:15 Is that it for eating? Well. Emergency situation it must be.

09:30 Typing.

12:30 And that’s all we get for lunch? Stomach, prepare yourself for a seige.

14:00 Talking. Sit still. Arm movements. Talking.

15:00 Typing

16:30 Home time! More driving action. Walking. Where are we now?

17:00 Woo hoo (stomach agrees)! Eating action.

17:30 Eating action.

18:00 Drinking action.

18:15 Sitting means sleeping. What’s that, brain? Driving? DRIVING ACTION!

18:30 Toilet action.

19:00 Sitting.

20:00 Still sitting. Brain, it’s time for sleep. No arguments.

21:00 Sitting. I thought I said no arguments, brain.

22:00 Sitting. TV? At this time of night?

23:00 Lie still. Ahhhh.

Zeitgeist Vier

Hallo!

Been a while… I’ve not really had anything funny to say but a night with the hilariously low-brow Nic has certainly helped.

Deutschland Noch Einmal

We went to Tall Tales which is a really fun night in Kilburn (London, not Derbyshire or York, which is incidentally near Thirkby High and Low with Osgodby – if only that were hyphenated – and some way away from Eskdaleside cum Ugglebarnby – say that in a North Yorks accent). Their podcast, Listen and Often, is really good too. If you ask me, which you haven’t, you should definitely listen to the podcast and try to go.

Harmless plug over.

I’ve been reading again. Don’t look so astounded. This time a trashy SF novel based on a film I never want to see: The Fifth Element. Any author who more than once a book, let alone page, uses phrases such as “Brat!brat!brat!brat! Brat!brat!brat!brat!” and “Buddabudda!BuddaBudda!” and “ClickityClick…” or similar is… well, I started laughing on page 91 and didn’t stop to the end. The book wasn’t that funny.

This is funny:

A man from out of space

Said, “I’m from a superior race.

You’re all inferior

While I’m superior.”

Then he tripped and fell flat on his face.

~Spike Milligan

Bis bald!

~L~

*plays saxophone softly into the night*