Sketch: THE MATHEMATICAL BRIDGE, CAMBRIDGE

Sound of footsteps.

THE MATHEMATICAL BRIDGE, CAMBRIDGE: Good afternoon.

MAN: Oh er… hello? er… who said that?

TMB, C: I did.

MAN: Who did? I can’t see anyone!

TMB, C: What do you mean you can’t see me? You’re standing on me.

MAN: Oh er… hello er… bridge…

TMB, C: Use my full name please. Honestly, it’s like me just calling you “man”, Stephen David Harrington Jones.

MAN: Oh OK… Hang on, how did you know my name?!

TMB, C: (mysteriously) I Know. (forcefully) Now, use my full name!

MAN: Hello erm… Mr Bridge.

TMB, C:  (angry) No, that’s not my name!

MAN: Oh! Hello, Mathematical Bridge.

TMB, C: (calmer, threatening) Not quite. Don’t make me throw you off.

MAN: Oh Oh wait.. Hello, THE Mathematical Bridge.

TMB, C: Nope, you’ve forced me to this.

MAN: Oh no wait STOP shaking!

TMB, C: I’m sorry but you didn’t learn my full name.

MAN: But that’s what you’re called – The Mathematical Bridge!

TMB, C: I am a bridge. I have a situation. I am The Mathematical Bridge, Cambridge. Hear the repetition. That is how important I am.

MAN: (frantic) OK I’m sorry The Mathematical Bridge, Cambridge. Just please stop shaking!

TMB, C: You’re really sorry?

MAN: Yes!

TMB, C: Hmmm (pause) nope.  Too little too late.

MAN: (screams)

TMB, C: Pathetic creature.

POLICEMAN: Hello The Mathematical Bridge, Cambridge.

TMB, C: Hello Police Constable Robert Thomas Jenkins.

POLICEMAN: How sweet that you learnt my full name.

MAN (shouting from a distance and gurgling a bit) Help! Police! Help!

POLICEMAN: Unlike that silly man.

Sound of footsteps over bridge.

Advertisements
By ljpaddock Posted in Sketch

Comments welcome

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s